You just might find, you get what you need

Today, while reading various posts on another social networking site, I came across a comment directed at me from my middle school crush.  The comment was on a post about our old neighborhood.  I had made a comment about our old middle school.  He also commented and then proceeded to tell me he had a crush on me way back then.  My first reaction was: me?  Then it was: ME!  I proceeded to confessing  I also had a crush on him way back then...30+ years ago!

Time has been kind to both of us.  He is happily married and has 3 kids and a grand baby too.  Although I am a single mom, I consider my life to be happy as well.  Throughout the years, we have run into each other from time to time. I met his wife and he met my daughter's father. We were always friendly to each other.  Funny thing is,  I wondered had either one of us acted on our feelings way back then, how different would our lives had been?

Although we were both in the gifted program, we led very different lives.  He was the boy from the "hood".  While I was the girl bound for THE college prep high school.  He cut school: I spent my free time reading.  He ran with a rough crowd; my friends and I had slumber parties and stuffed animals.  He was the "bad boy"; I was the girl voted most likely to succeed.  Classic Ro-Com material, right? 

Our life paths crossed at a young age.  Perhaps that interaction alone was enough to affect us and our decisions when looking for life partners. Had we acted on our "feelings", one or both of our lives may have ended up badly...OR, we could have had a whirlwind romance. We will never know, "what could have been".  What I do know is this: he found stability with his wife and I learned to have a colorful life with my daughter's father. My lesson learned is, that just like the song says, "You can't always get what you want...(BUT)... You just might find, you get what you need."

So when did I become so "uncool": maybe when I decided to blog about a romance that never was...

How to go from "uncool" to "annoying" in 1 easy step...

Hello World!  Here I am a full-fledged high schooler's mom!  These past 8 months have been crazy busy.  My daughter started off high school with a bang!  She immediately joined the school glee club "Dolce"; became a school Ambassador; tried out and made the frosh basketball team.  All the while maintaining "acceptable" grades.  Phew!

And therein lies the problem..."acceptable" grades.  I have extremely high expectations of her - "acceptable" grades just won't do.  Perhaps because I used to be a classic overachiever, I expect her to be able to juggle school work, volunteer work, extra-curricular activities AND excel at all of it!  It's not like I ask her to do anything time-consuming or even strenuous activities as chores.  I am not one of "those" moms that freaks out at an A-.  I do not even require her to keep a clean room.

So I ask myself, "Self: why is it that your daughter is satisfied with acceptable, passable and even <GASP> mediocre?  Why is it that she is satisfied with how things are instead of wanting MORE, BETTER, BEST?"  The simple answer that I find solace in is, "She's just like her dad."  In all actuality (thank Heaven) she is nothing like her dad.  So, why is that she doesn't have that driving force?  Why is it that she seems to live quite happily in her own "NikkiLand"?  Why is she so rebellious about even the most simple of things? 

I keep trying to find the answers to all of those questions.  I have come up with the following as possible answers:  she just doesn't care; or, it's not important to her; or even, she's a teenager.  In actuality, the last statement is closest to the truth: She's a teeneager.  To her, life will go on and on.  In her mind, SATs are w-a-y, faraway and college is eons away.  She still feels that she has an infinite amount of time before she has to buckle down.  She has yet to grasp the reality that her freshman year is coming to a close.  Sophmore year begins this fall.  SATs and college apps are only two years away. And, before she knows it...(boom) Graduation!

In search of an answer, I recently asked her why she is so flippant about the future.  She answered quite seriously, "Mom, I don't like talking about that stuff.  Talking about all that makes it that much more real that I don't have too much longer to be a kid."  AHA!  There ladies and gentlemen, is the golden answer!  She knows the struggles that I have lived through as a single mom.  She has seen the sacrifices that adults make on a day to day basis - and she is just not ready for that much reality. 

As adults, we know how difficult life can be if we do not take our education seriously. We know that the years fly by about as quickly as a butterfly flaps its wings. We know how important it is to make the right choices in life.  We know, because we have lived our lives.  We have made mistakes - and have had to pay ( or continue to pay) dearly for...  We know...

So, when did I go from uncool to annoying?  When I finally realised that I should have listened to my parents.  The weren't nagging me, they were trying to warn me.  Just like I am trying to do with my own teen.