Today my daughter and her friends (along with another mother and I) are going to the mall for the I Am Number Four autograph signing. Alex Pettyfer and Dianna Agron will be making an appearence at our local Hot Topic. Mind you, this is not a free meet and greet...the girls (actually us moms) had to purchase an officially licensed movie t-shirt with a wristband. The wristband guarantees them a chance to meet the stars as well as view a sneak peak of the movie.
So far, I'm all good with what's going on today.
My problem lies with what my daughter said last night when she came home from a basketball game. Instead of asking if she could spend the night at her BF's home tonight after the movie, she TOLD me she was spending the night. I love her friends and their parents. We've all known each other since the girls were in kindergarten. Call me old fashioned, but she is a minor and is living under my roof and regulations. I want her to ask if she is able to do things before she takes it upon herself to make the decision.
When I called her out on this, it started a disagreement that went like this:
Nikki: "You never let me do anything!"
Me: "I'm not saying no, you can't go. What I'm saying is, I would like for you to ask first."
Nikki: "You don't trust me!"
Me: "I'm not saying that either. What I'm saying is, I would like for you to ask first."
Nikki: "None of the other parents have a problem with this!"
Me: "I'm not everyone else's parents. I'm your mother and would like to be asked, not told."
Nikki: "Why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me?"
Me: "Nik, I love you. If you want to go to Isabella's house, just ask."
At this point, my daughter rolls her eyes and says, " Can I spend the night at Isabella's house after the movie?"
I ask you dear reader, was that so hard? Was I being disagreeable? I had to laugh this off, but I'm glad I stood my ground.
So when did I stop being "cool"? Apparently, when my daughter turned 14.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
When I grow up...
What makes us who we are?
Take for instance, me. As a child, I adored all of my dolls. I loved to dress them up, comb their hair, bundle them in blankets and even talk to them. I took them everywhere. I did everything I thought a "good little mommy" would do.
Aside from my dolls, I cherished my Easy Bake oven. My mom never let me put a light bulb in it in fear that I would "burn the house down". Nonetheless, I loved my Easy Bake oven. I pretended to make incredible cakes and treats. I imagined serving them to all of my guests and everyone asking for "seconds" and even "thirds"!
Fast forward to my teen years and early twenties. I swore up and down that there was no way I would ever be a "just a mom". Life was waiting to be lived and I wanted to live it to the fullest. I saw my friends that had children as having given up on life. I felt their kids were a burden to them. I saw it like a "plague". So, I avoided them - afraid I might "catch" whatever it was they had that made them want a child.
I partied, traveled, hung out, went to concerts, and slept in - A LOT. But, I always loved to bake. In my (single and childless) circle of friends, I was the one that would make cupcakes at midnight <wink, wink>. I could be counted on making a chocolate chip cheescake just to cheer someone up. I even learned how to make black bottom cupcakes!
Then one day, I was blessed with a beautiful little girl of my very own. I loved to dress her up, comb what little hair she had, bundle her up, and talk to her - nonstop. I took her everywhere with me. All the feelings I had as a little girl came rushing back to me. I also realized that my friends that had kids were living life to the fullest too, just in a different way.
Growing up in the 80's, we were told that as women we could have it all. Career, marriage, children. It put incredible pressure on us. Pressure to choose a career even if it was an unfulfilling one; pressure to find "the one" person we would marry; and pressure to have children. No one ever said it was ok to choose one, or a combination thereof. Too bad.
So, when did I stop being "cool"? In my daughter's eyes...probably when I decided I just wanted to be a mom that bakes the best cupcakes.
Take for instance, me. As a child, I adored all of my dolls. I loved to dress them up, comb their hair, bundle them in blankets and even talk to them. I took them everywhere. I did everything I thought a "good little mommy" would do.
Aside from my dolls, I cherished my Easy Bake oven. My mom never let me put a light bulb in it in fear that I would "burn the house down". Nonetheless, I loved my Easy Bake oven. I pretended to make incredible cakes and treats. I imagined serving them to all of my guests and everyone asking for "seconds" and even "thirds"!
Fast forward to my teen years and early twenties. I swore up and down that there was no way I would ever be a "just a mom". Life was waiting to be lived and I wanted to live it to the fullest. I saw my friends that had children as having given up on life. I felt their kids were a burden to them. I saw it like a "plague". So, I avoided them - afraid I might "catch" whatever it was they had that made them want a child.
I partied, traveled, hung out, went to concerts, and slept in - A LOT. But, I always loved to bake. In my (single and childless) circle of friends, I was the one that would make cupcakes at midnight <wink, wink>. I could be counted on making a chocolate chip cheescake just to cheer someone up. I even learned how to make black bottom cupcakes!
Then one day, I was blessed with a beautiful little girl of my very own. I loved to dress her up, comb what little hair she had, bundle her up, and talk to her - nonstop. I took her everywhere with me. All the feelings I had as a little girl came rushing back to me. I also realized that my friends that had kids were living life to the fullest too, just in a different way.
Growing up in the 80's, we were told that as women we could have it all. Career, marriage, children. It put incredible pressure on us. Pressure to choose a career even if it was an unfulfilling one; pressure to find "the one" person we would marry; and pressure to have children. No one ever said it was ok to choose one, or a combination thereof. Too bad.
So, when did I stop being "cool"? In my daughter's eyes...probably when I decided I just wanted to be a mom that bakes the best cupcakes.
Monday, January 17, 2011
My First Post
First things first. Yes, I am a mom; and yes, I was a teen in the 80's. What I hope to accomplish through this blog is to figure out when I stopped being cool, cutting edge and hip! (The answer is probably when I didn't stop using 80's slang..)
I have a 14 year old daughter that does not stop reminding me on a daily basis that "This isn't the 80's mom! People are different now." I ask myself, " Are people different? " I am a firm believer in the the old adage that times change, but people remain the same. So, no people are not different. The times have made people achieve their goals differently now, but we all just want one thing.
We all just want to be happy, right? All I want is for my daughter to grow up to become a healthy and happy adult. Do I overstep my boundaries as a parent? Yup, you betcha! I don't want her to fall into the same "trappings" that I did, so I try to sway (push) her in another direction. Has it helped any? I'm not sure. I know she is a lot busier than I ever was at her age. Is she happy? I'm not sure. She has decent grades, a ton of extra curricular activities, and a ton of friends. Will these factors add up to a happy childhood? I'm not sure.
So, when did I stop being so "cool"? I'm not sure. Drats!
I have a 14 year old daughter that does not stop reminding me on a daily basis that "This isn't the 80's mom! People are different now." I ask myself, " Are people different? " I am a firm believer in the the old adage that times change, but people remain the same. So, no people are not different. The times have made people achieve their goals differently now, but we all just want one thing.
We all just want to be happy, right? All I want is for my daughter to grow up to become a healthy and happy adult. Do I overstep my boundaries as a parent? Yup, you betcha! I don't want her to fall into the same "trappings" that I did, so I try to sway (push) her in another direction. Has it helped any? I'm not sure. I know she is a lot busier than I ever was at her age. Is she happy? I'm not sure. She has decent grades, a ton of extra curricular activities, and a ton of friends. Will these factors add up to a happy childhood? I'm not sure.
So, when did I stop being so "cool"? I'm not sure. Drats!
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