When I grow up...

What makes us who we are? 

Take for instance, me.  As a child, I adored all of my dolls.  I loved to dress them up, comb their hair, bundle them in blankets and even talk to them.  I took them everywhere. I did everything I thought a "good little mommy" would do. 

Aside from my dolls, I cherished my Easy Bake oven.  My mom never let me put a light bulb in it in fear that I would "burn the house down".  Nonetheless, I loved my Easy Bake oven.  I pretended to make incredible cakes and treats.  I imagined serving them to all of my guests and everyone asking for "seconds" and even "thirds"!

Fast forward to my teen years and early twenties.  I swore up and down that there was no way I would ever be a "just a mom".  Life was waiting to be lived and I wanted to live it to the fullest.  I saw my friends that had children as having given up on life.  I felt their kids were a burden to them.  I saw it like a "plague". So, I avoided them - afraid I might "catch" whatever it was they had that made them want a child.

I partied, traveled, hung out, went to concerts, and slept in - A LOT.  But, I always loved to bake.  In my (single and childless) circle of friends, I was the one that would make cupcakes at midnight <wink, wink>.  I could be counted on making a chocolate chip cheescake just to cheer someone up.  I even learned how to make black bottom cupcakes!

Then one day, I was blessed with a beautiful little girl of my very own.  I loved to dress her up, comb what little hair she had, bundle her up, and talk to her - nonstop.  I took her everywhere with me.  All the feelings I had as a little girl came rushing back to me.  I also realized that my friends that had kids were living life to the fullest too, just in a different way.

Growing up in the 80's, we were told that as women we could have it all.  Career, marriage, children.  It put incredible pressure on us.  Pressure to choose a career even if it was an unfulfilling one; pressure to find "the one" person we would marry; and pressure to have children.  No one ever said it was ok to choose one, or a combination thereof.  Too bad.

So, when did I stop being "cool"?  In my daughter's eyes...probably when I decided I just wanted to be a mom that bakes the best cupcakes.